Hope.

Are there times which you hoped that someone close to you would just trust you?

Those times, when they simply do not trust you,

it hurts. so badly.

I am not trying to be a meanie here and bitch about anyone that I love.

I just felt that I needed someone to talk to.

To express what I'm holding in.

Why do people not trust me when I say I have proper diets and not starving myself?

Why do people not trust me when I knew I put in the effort to keep a healthy weight?

Is this all I am?

Someone not worth trusting?

I don't know, really.

It suddenly feels like I am all alone.

Because what I say, no one believes it anyway.

So what is the point of saying?

What is the point of saying so much when no one believes it?

I feel horrible, I feel lonely, I feel like tearing up in a corner.

Maybe, things will get better if I talk to my toys.

If I were to sit in a corner and cry with my pillows.

Maybe that's what will make me better.

I will be a better person.

I will.

love,

cynnie.