Times that I need to pen down my thoughts. I could feel liberation when my parents told me, "We will support you no matter what decisions you make." Thank you dad and mum. It was a really tough period, the past 2-3 months. I never felt so suppressed before in my entire life. Everyday feels mundane, an obligation. My soul gets tired, and it just seems to be screaming for a day to be released.
I thought I was okay, and I took it while. But my mum told me, "No, you're not doing well. I can see that." I was shocked. I thought things were well concealed, but I never thought she would discover. Then dad found out. And soon everyone in my family heard the voice inside me. I released and broke out in tears. Never in my life have I ever felt so vulnerable. Never. But it was enlightening. Freed.
I can't express the joy I felt when we came down to a decision. Things will be fine, and a happier cynnieco would come by.
Happiness is about listening to yourself, listening to your heart. Mind is like... a security barrier. It stops you to ask,"Is that the right thing to do? Is that what you really want in the end?" And you listen to your heart, follow it. Your mind makes sure you don't have regrets, but it never stops you. It never does. Because ultimately, it is your heart that sets your body moving and going.
I'm so glad that I talked about it, if not, what would eventually come out of me? I don't know. I blog about this now, but then perhaps a few years down the road I would look back and ask myself again. "Is this the right choice made back then?" I hope I will be saying, "Yes, it is."
To all the people who is facing the same dilemma as I am, follow your heart. It can bring you much further than you ever think you can.
Goodbye,
Cynnieco.
