Thinking back about life.

& what is life?

Is life about socializing with friends, making the ones around you happy?

Or is life about appreciating the little moments in your life.. even if its just some alone time yourself?

Reading a book, staring into space, watching your favorite drama series, crowd watching or even just sipping on a cup of mocha, leaving foam on your upper lips?

We all have different definitions of life.

But have we ever tried putting ourselves into the shoes of the others, and truly think in the way that they do?

Perhaps some do, and some don't.

Nevertheless, we can't deny the fact that we can't be a 100% of the others.

Even if we could be of the same similarity, there would be that 0.000000001% in between.

And that's what makes us all unique individuals.

& the theory comes.

Why do we judge, scrutinize and criticize someone else's life?

When one starts, and the other begins. and it keeps ongoing.

And there are some times, that we feel like we ain't ourselves.

We are unknowingly controlled by someone's perspectives of us, we are afraid of comments.

We get eaten by our fear of comments.

But why do we have to succumb to them?

Do they know how we like how our life to be?

Will they ever appreciate if we explained it to them, or would they just define life as the way they define their life?

Life, is about happiness, smiles, sorrows, and being true to ourselves.

Life, is not about negative comments, wary eyes of the others and the fear of being laughed at.

If we fear, our confidence is technically slashed by fifty-percent.

If we smiled, we might boost our confidence, even if its a five percent increase.

Forget others, think about yourself.

That's when you shine the brightest, so much brighter than the others who wrap themselves in blankets of criticism and judgemental looks at the others.

& let them be.

For they will never be the same individual as you.

♥

Is it really all that I deserve?

Back in U.K for 2 weeks, and I am finally all settled in Birmingham.

I've faced so many issues along the way.

Almost being homeless for my semester in Birmingham, everyday I ask myself, 

"Where do I stay next?"

I moved between hotels in London, as I had nowhere to stay in Birmingham.

My parents were freaking out, and so did I.

Rooms in student accommodations were running out real quick.

If all was gone, where do I go next?

And right now, I'm glad I could be sitting comfortably in my room, typing out all these thoughts of mine.

The price of my current room almost doubled from my previous accommodation, which I had no choice but to take up.

Otherwise, I would not have anywhere to go.

As I thought about how I landed here, I thought to myself," Do I deserve to live in a place like this given by my parents?"

The truth is, I never felt that I deserved it.

I never do.

From all the worries and financial burdens I've given to them due to my education,

Was that even justifiable for them to let me be so pampered in a place like this?

I am lost for words for myself.

But what I can say, is that it's all parental love.

Parents; the ones who gave birth to us, were given the enormous responsibility to raise us up.

How many times have we let them worry, stress and upset about us?

And how many times have we yelled, fought and literally forgot about the pains they took to raise us up from babies to toddlers, preschoolers, teenagers and to a full-grown adult?

not everyone does that to their parents.

At least I am guilty for doing that sometimes.

But as I typed this out in my blog, I started to reflect on how blessed and pampered I am from my parents and siblings.

I know what's going on around me, and I need to know that too.

To my dearest parents,

Thank you for all that you've done for me.

Thank you for all the effort you have done to raise me up, to provide for my living expenses, education and accommodation.

Thank you for tolerating me all this while.

And what I want to do, is to bring a smile to your faces.

To earn and to lighten your burden, so that you could enjoy the retirement life in future.

And to repay for all that you've done.

It is something that I could never fully repay, but I'm going to try my best.

I love you both, a lot.

till eternity.

And to all parents in the world, you are all amazing human beings.

goodnight,

cynnie.

Summer is on the way!

S U M M E R VACATION: I'M ON MY WAY!

Yesterday was officially the last day of school for me!

Assignments were all cleared, and I survived my very first semester.

4 months of holiday, and I have not planned what to do exactly for my holidays.

So many places in mind... Brighton, Wales, London, Manchester(again!) and definitely Liverpool.

So I just came back recently from my day trip to London.
Being an ultimate Gordon Ramsay fan, I finally tried one of his restaurants in London.
So I went to Bread Street Kitchen...located right at Bread Street.

We ordered a Superfood Salad topped with Chicken and Lamb Cutlets.

May be considered one of our most expensive meals ever since we came to U.K., but it was nevertheless worth the money as the quality was top notch!

Soft, tender and chicken. It was not dry, unlike my usual cooking of chicken....

:( HAHAHA

Lamb cutlet was succulent, and you could easily get the meat off those bones.

Talk about eating easily in a posh restaurant.

You don't face the problem of getting your food flying off your plates and watching it land on the floor helplessly!

Just that expression of Mr Bean...

We wandered back to our favorite area in London, Soho - Regent Street.

Pretty much wish I could shop there but time was running short.

Leicester Square was our favorite spot - or rather Chinatown in London.

Waited to meet up with one of my Singaporean mates.

& guess what, we queued for the highly raved Bubblewrap while waiting!

Usual queue time is about 2 hours, and we probably got it in like 45 minutes - 1 hour.

People left the queue midway, so I guess that's how we made our way through it.

*Psst... you know the trick now!*

You still need patience though HAHA

There you go!

Berries & Cream w/ Nutella Sauce + Green Tea Ice Cream with Strawberries

Definitely loving those egglette waffles!

And so so glad to have caught up with one of my Singaporean friend, Yong Quan!
That feels when you meet someone from home :')

Sadly, good times always come to an end.
I had to catch my train back to Euston and back to Birmingham.
We had to bid farewell till then.
But nevertheless, that few hours spent were precious ;)
Thank you Yong Quan!

London, you're definitely some place I'm going back again.

Really missing those food from Camden Market, Burgers & Lobsters.
Of course, I've yet to visit Borough Market, Battersea and my Harry Potter tour!
I'm coming for ya!

Stay tuned while I retrieve more photos on my phone.
I hope summer will be a great period for me to revive this dying blog,
because honestly, I miss this feeling and all my readers :')

Cheers!
cynnieco. 

Sometimes, it hurts.
It hurts seeing someone you love to be down, to be sad.
You wish you could be there for them, but you can't.
You wish they would open up to you, but they won't.
It's like when you're out in the rain, desperately trying to find a house to get in but the door won't budge.
You stood in the rain with tears, but your tears were hidden within the raindrops.
Do you ever feel, that all this might not be what you deserve?
Maybe I do.
That I do not deserve this form of love.
Who am I to be such a lucky girl and receive all this love?
I'm definitely not the one to begin with in the first place.

One day, just one day.
I hope this door would open.
Provide me a shelter.
Provide me warmth.
Dry up my tears.

I need you so much closer.
To believe and trust in me.
That we can withstand all these together.
That's all I needed.
I don't need much of your time.
I don't need you to give me all of your free time.
Because I respect you having your own time.
But what I need, was just a deeper connection within us.
That beats any amount of time we have together.

It hurts.
It hurts real bad.
I could feel my heart bleeding and it just won't stop.
I could feel my tears rolling down my cheeks and it just won't stop tearing up.
I could feel my breathing, trying to catch it's breath because I'm tearing up too much.
I want it to stop.
I want my smile back.
I want your smile back.
If promises were like rainbows, I hope ours would go on and on and on.
Like it will never end, and we will be connected for eternity.
I love you so much.
I really do.
And I won't hide it.
Because you never knew how amazing you are.
That it makes me want to be there for you all the time.
I would never give up, wanting to know you more.
Never.
Simply because, I love you to the moon and back.

cynnie.

Thoughts away from home.

It's almost one and half month since I've landed in Birmingham. 

Honestly, it feels like I've been here for quite awhile. Or maybe I've settled in really well.

Good classmates, best friends, lovely roomie and apartment mates - life is good so far. 

Of course, not all days are well and fine.

There are days of ups and downs - arguments, unhappiness, misunderstandings.

Some days were unbearable. What it feels like to be mistaken by your friend as someone who bitches about the others.

Damn.

Sometimes, you wish you could disappear.
Without people and crowd, just you and a piece of meadow land ahead of you.
You close your eyes, take a deep breath and open your eyes.
How life can be peaceful.

Were there times that you felt like you've been putting in too much effort?
That no one seems to care and takes it for granted.
Your suffering was invisible to the others.
Yet theirs were so visible, that they could ask someone for help but you can't.
All you could do, was to keep it in your heart.
Go to a corner of your room and look up into the starry night sky.
Pondering about the worries you have.

Sometimes, life is painful.
but sunshine would come by.
Cliche as it may sound, but a rainbow comes by after every rainfall.
Be strong and stay strong.
Be who you are.
You are worth it, you are worth all the love you can ever get.
What the others think might matter in the society.
But in your own world, your happiness matters the most.

To someone I deeply love,
I love you for who you are.
No matter what kind of a person you are, what arguments we ever had.
I hate the sins, but never you.
Cheer up,
& this is dedicated for you.
:)

love,
cynnie.

Homesick from home.

I always believed that no matter how independent a person is, there is no doubt one will get lonely and require the company of their family and friends.

I do miss my family, despite the fact that I have just been in Birmingham for 2 weeks, not to mention the fact that I will be here for 2 years.

To be honest, 2 years are neither long nor short to begin with.

But it really depends on the perspective that we look at.

However, perhaps technology improvements made things much easier for us.

Now that I am able to FaceTime with my parents as and when we want (if you're willing to sacrifice some sleep for the time differences!).

Of course, social media plays a huge part in our lives, constantly updating the progress of our life to our family and friends.

So despite being homesick, I'm glad that I have a group of friends by my side whom I can informally announce them as my 2nd family in UK.

:)

Attending the school orientation really helped me in settling down with my stuffs.

Such as residential issues, school matters and of course, getting to meet people from different nationalities who are similar to me.

Being a newbie to the UK, I was absolutely lost.

What was Chinatown, Jewellery Quarter, Broad Street and New Street?

All I knew was I am in the City Centre of Birmingham.

Despite arriving into Birmingham for a week before orientation began, I was only familiar with areas such as Bullring and The Grand Central, which were the main shopping areas of Birmingham.

As soon as orientation began, I met a group of friends coming from Malaysia, Brunei, Taiwan and China.

We kick started conversations by introducing ourselves, and then after hanging out together during orientation breaks.

They are an amazing group to be with. While some of us were confused with the applications and procedures, the others would patiently guide us through step by step through it and even accompanying us to the places to report to.

Needless to say, as we stayed in the respective halls of Cambrian and The Maltings, we would go home together, ensuring one another are back home safe and sound by notifying on our WhatsApp group.

Friends are like your family while you are miles away from home.

So get out of your comfort zone and make some new friends!

Who knows, they might be your BFFs :)

Just like how Jade (my apartment mate), Jasmine (the first person I talked to during orientation) and I became some of the closest as well!

Staying in hall was really an eye opener for me.
Or rather, I was glad to be staying in hall as I could get to mix around with the other students.
I was rather blessed getting to know Lin, who have apparently stayed there for a semester.
She brought me around town and I felt really at ease, as if that I had a sibling taking care of me in a foreign state.

Apparently tried to look glamorous on the photos but the wind was just not giving me any chance!

Birmingham is really known to be a windy and rainy country, especially during winter.

It even broke my umbrella, well cause I got it at 1 pound.

But that's how strong it is!

Ever since I arrived in Birmingham, almost everyday it has been raining.

One of the reasons why I hate rainy days was because it makes my things wet.

And one of the days, my Primark paper bag decided to give way and it broke while I was heading home.

Thankful that I had a recyclable bag along with me, I've never felt that helpless before :'(

So now you've got the tip on how to survive rainy days: Umbrella/Raincoats, Recyclable bags and perhaps a pair of boots.

And when the sun comes out, guess who's the one rejoicing in the heart :D

So far, I have been really enjoying myself right in the heart of Birmingham.

My heart is still thousand of miles away from where I am physically, but nevertheless I am gonna put in my best effort to do my parents proud.

Do what you love, and do it with your best effort.

have a great night guys!

cynnie.

Unimaginable.

It feels so unrealistic.

Having been blogging since I began in Singapore, till the moment when I stayed in States for a couple of months.

Hopping my way to Birmingham in UK just a couple of days before, I am happy to say that my life has been fulfilling.

There was once I felt like I have lost my direction in life when I was schooling in Singapore.

Facing modules that were not in my favour, life was sour and bitter.

My family was always there supporting me, but I could just never get out of that unhappiness aura lingering around me.

But now, a brand new life is awaiting for me.

I'm so so thankful for my parents for giving me the opportunity to live my dream.

Right now, as I sit in front of my Mac and typing these words out, my heart is filled with gratitude.

How far I've fought for to achieve where I am now, together with support from my parents, siblings, relatives, cousins and fellow mates.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Before departure, my family always leave me some of the best memories.
A meal together.

Best memories ;)

What's life in Birmingham like?

Well, it begins with a long flight from Singapore to U.K. obviously.

Surviving my 7-8 hours flight to Dubai, and then after another 7-8 hours flight to Birmingham!

What I always look forward to on a flight, in-flight meals!

It just reminds me that I have reached another milestone of the flight.

Whew.

And finally reaching Dubai after a long, torturous 7/8 hours flight...

I've got to make good use of my 6 hours layover in Dubai Intl Airport.

Shake Shack at 2am was great!

First try of Shake Shack and I was really impressed by the cheese fries.

But sadly, not to my liking when the cheese dip turned cold :(

Grilled Chicken, great serving!

Pardon if this doesn't look appetizing, but it is Blackcurrant cake with custard.

Delish ;)

And finally landing in Birmingham!

Well, I shall continue with the adventures tomorrow.

Perhaps jet lag is still affecting me and I'm feeling really tired right now.

How I miss my family on CNY.

And i wonder, how much are they missing me too.

Perhaps under the same sky, our misses are interlinked.

I miss you all, my Simpsons family :)

Happy CNY all!

goodnight,

cynnie.

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