Is it really all that I deserve?

Back in U.K for 2 weeks, and I am finally all settled in Birmingham.

I've faced so many issues along the way.

Almost being homeless for my semester in Birmingham, everyday I ask myself, 

"Where do I stay next?"

I moved between hotels in London, as I had nowhere to stay in Birmingham.

My parents were freaking out, and so did I.

Rooms in student accommodations were running out real quick.

If all was gone, where do I go next?

And right now, I'm glad I could be sitting comfortably in my room, typing out all these thoughts of mine.

The price of my current room almost doubled from my previous accommodation, which I had no choice but to take up.

Otherwise, I would not have anywhere to go.

As I thought about how I landed here, I thought to myself," Do I deserve to live in a place like this given by my parents?"

The truth is, I never felt that I deserved it.

I never do.

From all the worries and financial burdens I've given to them due to my education,

Was that even justifiable for them to let me be so pampered in a place like this?

I am lost for words for myself.

But what I can say, is that it's all parental love.

Parents; the ones who gave birth to us, were given the enormous responsibility to raise us up.

How many times have we let them worry, stress and upset about us?

And how many times have we yelled, fought and literally forgot about the pains they took to raise us up from babies to toddlers, preschoolers, teenagers and to a full-grown adult?

not everyone does that to their parents.

At least I am guilty for doing that sometimes.

But as I typed this out in my blog, I started to reflect on how blessed and pampered I am from my parents and siblings.

I know what's going on around me, and I need to know that too.

To my dearest parents,

Thank you for all that you've done for me.

Thank you for all the effort you have done to raise me up, to provide for my living expenses, education and accommodation.

Thank you for tolerating me all this while.

And what I want to do, is to bring a smile to your faces.

To earn and to lighten your burden, so that you could enjoy the retirement life in future.

And to repay for all that you've done.

It is something that I could never fully repay, but I'm going to try my best.

I love you both, a lot.

till eternity.

And to all parents in the world, you are all amazing human beings.

goodnight,

cynnie.